This October, amidst a highly debated political discussion regarding the appropriate professional treatment of women, Virgin American, LinkedIn and Leanin.org partnered together to celebrate their Lady Boss plane by sponsoring a contest to showcase stories of women mentoring women and exemplify how women “mentor like a lady boss”. The contest, an extension of the partnership with Leanin.org’s #Leanintogether campaign, encouraged women participants to share how a woman leader, that they have looked up to , has mentored them as an ally or a peer. The collective entries described several consistent themes of women committed to reaching out and “lifting up other women” despite those being mentored seeing less potential within themselves.
“She saw my unpolished potential.” “She opened my eyes and showed me the inequalities plaguing the world.” “She found time for me to talk about my future and goals and made me feel they were as important as her own.” “She shows women how to be a force of nature onstage and offstage she is relentless about making the world a better place.” “She pushed me to consider things I hadn’t considered and introduced me to more people who could help.” “She leads by example, teaches through experience, guides with compassion, and lends her hand as a friend.”
Many women wonder, however, what mentorship is, how they themselves obtain one and ( most importantly) how do they become equipped to be one? By its official definition , a Mentor is a wise and trusted counselor or teacher; an influential senior sponsor or supporter. For me, and many other professional women I have worked with, we know it when we see it.
My first professional mentor , like many of those described above, saw something in me that I had not yet seen myself. She was three levels above me in the company we worked for and took an interest in me as I began to explore my future options for growth and development. Her first suggestion was that I join a shared governance patient quality council. I later learned this suggestion was because she had bigger plans for me in the role of the council’s chair (which she somehow talked me into accepting) before I even understood my role. However, this push, with her guided support, began to introduce me to a bigger picture view of the importance of quality review, interdisciplinary teamwork. Furthermore, it gave me the confidence that I could be a powerful change agent and influence our hospital culture. As I became more comfortable in an unofficial leadership role, she then began to plant the “leadership seed” into our conversations and helped me to map out the next 9 years of my career which included four promotions and two master degrees. I don’t think we ever used the “mentor/mentee” description when describing our relationship but I did end up reporting to her for 4 years and it was evident upon reflection that she was teaching me the core elements of how to mentor. The principles below are some of the key lessons I have learned to emulate in order to pay it forward.
- Get to know the person– Take the time to talk with those less experienced women you work with to find out who they are. What are their goals, dreams, hopes, and fears? Who do they admire and want to be like? What do they love about their present work and what do they light up about when describing what they do?
- Help connect them to a potential stretch opportunity– Is a there a project, task force, role out or superuser opportunity that you can suggest them for? The more exposure to your company’s big picture strategy will help introduce them to others in the company who can be potential resources and connections for further growth.
- Meet with them regularly– Frequency of interaction is important. A quick coffee talk, hallway conversation, or a scheduled one-on-one is important to open yourself up for guidance and support. Frequency shows that you care enough to dedicate your time to their growth. One surprising fact is that often these times will reenergize you in your career. Paying it forward feels wonderful.
- Share your library- What books or articles are you reading that you find valuable, informative, and something that could be of interest to your mentee.? Send it along in an email, share your book with them when finished. Encouraging continued learning is one of the most important lessons I have both learned and shared.
- Share your failures- Showing humility in lessons learned along the way empowers women that it is safe to fail. Sharing your learnings and why the lesson was valuable will help them to open up when they feel they have made not the best decision they could have. Help them to see that learning lessons promote growth.
- Point out their strengths- Help them see what you see. Point out their strengths and manage them up to others when you have the opportunity. Nothing builds confidence more than attributing good work to its owner and letting others know what a great job they are doing. Always take the opportunity when introducing them to someone new to share something positive about them.
- Ask for feedback- Teaching a mentee the importance of continuous 360-degree feedback (and how you incorporate into your own self-improvement) is the best inspirational gift you can give. Showing vulnerability and gracious appreciation for feedback that is not always positive will have extraordinary influence on new up and coming leaders.
Lailah Gifty Akita is quoted as saying ” Every great achiever is inspired by a great mentor.”
Go find one, be one, and mentor like a Lady Boss.
